Let's do it to it Lars.

Look at how well I'm doing!!!

Hello :)

I'm so overly thrilled at the fact that I am DONE with college!!!!!...for the semester. I can not begin to tell you how relieved I am to be done and have a break from test taking. I'm sure many of you get the idea. College is quite the pain. But I'm living and loving every minute of it.

Okay. So not every minute but the majority of them!

I know I've been saying I would go down my little list I made a while back about topics. But for some reason I don't want to. And there are no rules to say I have to follow my list. So I won't :)

This blog is going to be about my best friend in the entire world. I'm serious. Aside from God, this person is my hero. She know what to say and when to say it. Sometimes I don't want to hear it, but she tells me anyway. She is a woman of God and knows how to be a role model for me.

She is my sister, Jordan.

Jordan is absolutely one of the greatest people you will ever meet. She is by far the funniest person I know. She also is the most intimidating person I know. She knows what she wants and nothing will stand in her way!

This first semester of college has been a very big struggle for me faith wise. I've been so focussed on school and my education that I lost sigh of the thing most important in my life and that is God. My parents' divorce was also very hard on me. I felt very alone and hurt. Jordan was my solid ground. I turned to her when I didn't know who else to turn to.

You may be wondering why she is such a hero in my life.

Well.

The words that come out of my sisters mouth are such an inspiration to me. She's only 21 and I feel as though I'm talking to a 27 year old. I know that whatever life throws my way, she'll be there to help me stand my ground.

She also has THE best style in clothes and taste in music. And you would not believe how much of an incredible artist she is. The things that woman can draw astound me. Not only that, her creativity is something I envy greatly.

George (aka Jordan) is getting married in April to a man who I believe is the epitome of man. And while that saddens me to be losing a bit of my best friend, I could not be happier for her that she found her soul mate.

Jordan is the biggest inspiration in my life. And I don't tell her that enough.

Yes we fight and sometimes it is very brutal. But I love her more than words could express. She is the best friend I could EVER have.

I love my sister.

And even her little demon Dog..

Til next time

KJ

Your Hands

Hello all,

I have quite a bit of weight on my shoulders today. Weight and worry.

Yes, I know. My last blog was all mighty and I made myself out to sound like I wasn't going to worry about the future. But I failed at that.

I'm sure when I ask this, many of you will nod wildly at your computer screen (or so I hope..)

But..

Do you ever feel like you aren't where you're supposed to be? Or you question if you should be somewhere else?

*que wild head nod*

This week has been such a challenge for me. And while many students would drop out of their major, I had the opposite reaction. I want to keep going. I want to do more. I LOVE MY MAJOR. Yes, it is the worlds biggest pain when I can't decipher a minor 6th to a major 3rd. But I know that at some point it will come naturally to me.

I sing. That is what I do. God gave me a gift to sing and that's all I want to do for the rest of my life. Whether it be singing on a huge stage on Broadway, or on a low budget stage for a community somewhere. I want to use my gift that God granted me.

However.

What if I'm supposed to be somewhere else using my gift? Some place bigger? A different school? Or what if my gift entails me to do music ministry? I know I don't have all the answers and nor should I right now. I have just been feeling very curious lately. And no matter how hard I pray and ask God to lead me, I feel stumped.

Typical Kal.

The bible verse "Be still and know I am God" keeps running through my head as I type this. But I still find it a struggle for me to just let go. I guess that's the issue we deal with as humans.

I hope those of you who are going through this same feeling find your answer. I'll pray you do.

Just know that at the end of the day, God isn't going to lead us astray. I have a hard time remembering that myself. But I know it's true.

Psalm 23.

KJ

College Shmollege

Welp. It's official.
COLLEGE IS HARD.
I know you are all probably laughing at me thinking "duh". But I honestly did not expect college to be this challenging. Of course I knew it would be difficult but not once did I think I would cry for hours on end over a stupid test that won't matter to me in a few years, or even a few months.
Which brings me to my next rant.
Why must exams be such a huge deal? They literally do NO GOOD for anyone. I can't even explain to you all of the things wrong with me because of stress. I have literally worried myself sick. I have also successfully, and unwillingly, bitten off all of my finger nails. My lips are also red and cracked from biting them with worry. Gross right? Yeah, I know.

I don't mean to be a complainer. Honest. I really enjoy college. The people are great and most of my professors are wonderful. I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that one exam either causes you to pass or fail a class. I can honestly say for myself that I do fabulous in class. I participate. I ask questions. I do what a "good/normal" student does. So why am I such an awful test taker? Why do I freeze up and go blank? I study for hours and for what? To choke because of a silly piece of paper sitting on my desk? Riddle me that people!!

If there is one thing I have learned from all of this, however, is that God is in control. Granted, I have not felt that way this week. In fact, I even doubted a few times that he was actually present. I know it's crazy talk but I felt so alone and scared so rather than trust, I just panicked and took it all up on my shoulders. I've come to the realization though that God has a plan. Just because a test didn't go the way I wanted it to, doesn't mean my world is going to fall apart (thank you mother). I also learned that if I worry about the entire weeks stresses, rather than just the days, it's considered sin. I was reading my sister's blog the other day and it was a sign from God. She was talking about being stressed and how if we worry about the entire week rather than just the day, we are committing a sin because we aren't having faith in God that he will get us through.
I do believe God will carry me through all of this hurt and chaos in my life right now. I'm just slowly learning.

On a happier note, I have been absolutely OBSESSED with Florence & The Machine. Well. I've always been obsessed. But I was reminded of their music recently and I fell in love all over again. "Cosmic Love" has been on repeat for the past hour. I'm telling you, I have an addiction.
Along with her beautiful music, my sister showed me the band The Lower Lights and they too have been on repeat for the past couple of days. If you find you're stressing out, take a listen. I guarantee you will feel better.
My prayers go out to those of you who have finals this week.
(I will also gladly accept any prayers for my last 3 finals)

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me" -Psalm 23:4

KJ

P.S.

Listen to the song "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus". Immediate calming :)

http://thelowerlights.com/music/

C.S. Lewis Song

Hello once again.
(Note the title: If you haven't heard it yet, I HIGHLY suggest you go to youtube, type the title in and the author is Brooke Fraser. You will not be let down. I promise.)

I'm fully aware that I have a huge procrastination problem so no need to remind me! I apologize to those of you who actually read this that I'm so behind. Music majors, I've realized, have no life! But you get what you get haha.
Alright. I'm going to go a little out of order of my list I made last time. I know, I know. I'm a mess. But at least I've found time to write anything at all right? Right. So with that being said, I'd like to address the topic of friends. One of the greatest, and sometimes worst, things life could hand us in college.

First semester of college for me wasn't a huge adjustment. I knew people at the University before I even got there so I already had connections. Lucky me right? I made the BEST of friends with a small group of people from my show choir and was under the impression for months that I'd never ever find better friends. While that may hold true for most of them, I've found that college can either make or break you when it comes to friends. Now I'm not saying I have bad friends by ANY means so if you're my friend and reading this, stop pouting because that isn't what I'm saying! What I'm saying is, college has a way of smacking you in the face. Rather than lean on God during the first year of college, most students lean on friends to get them through. Now while that may be semi true, friends aren't supposed to be our everything. God is. We are given friends to help us along the way and keep us in line. And as I've found, the majority of my fabulous friends have done so for me.
I suppose this blog is a little out there and probably isn't make the most sense right now. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, is that God has really, I mean REALLY, opened up my eyes this year.
My parents' divorce has led me in some pretty sticky situations and it's been God that's led me out of them. Not only them, but my friends who are there who keep me in check. I know I would be lost without my friends by my side telling me "Hey it's okay Kal. You're living". And they are right. I am living. It may be pouring but, right now rather than looking at the flood, I'm watching each drop fall into it's place because I know at some point, the rain will stop and there will be beauty.
Okay so I know it's corny but that seems to be the only thing that make sense right now :)

And as a side note, God puts people into our lives to teach us lessons. I've learned many so far. And to be quite honest, I'm a little scared about what else is going to teach me. These lessons aren't always the happiest. But I know I'm growing. I hope you all are growing just as much in your life. If not, let me know. I'm all about ears these days. Ear training will be the death of me this semester!!!

With love
KJ

My deepest apologies

Well. It has been, literally, months since I have written on this. I am sorry for those of you who actually pay attention. My life has been pretty hectic these last couple of months. I feel as though I won't fit it into this one blog, however. So I may be doing volumes. But for now, I'll give you the brief.

July
July was very boring for me. I did take quite a few trips to Omaha though. I love my friends there. Clarisse Thomsen being my primary heart and soul of Omaha. She is one of the best friends you could ever ask for.

August
Auggy was a bit more exciting. I went to Colorado with my mom, sister, and grandma. It was one of THE best trips I have ever taken. God really blessed me with showing me his beauty in the world. Nature, clearly, is proof that God exists.
At the end of August, I got my big girl pants, and moved to college.
I can't even begin to describe the thrill I felt of moving.
Yes I miss my parents and my sister, and most importantly, my dog Chloe. But I love being here at college.
I love the atmosphere and the independence.
It was scary at first but I couldn't be happier.
I am a pledge of Chi Omega and that has been the best thing that has happened to be since I have been at college. The girls at the house are SO much fun and I love being around them. There will be a more in depth blog to come about Chi O, Big Red Singers, and other events that have happened since we've last chatted. Don't you worry :)
As for now, thought, I must finish my laundry and then get some sleep.
College really knows how to rob you of your precious sleep time if you aren't careful!

I'm going to do my best to keep up with this blog. Maybe if I make a list, I'll be more likely to finish!
1. Colorado
2. College transition
3. Big Red Singers
4. My roomie
5. Chi Omega
6. New friends (and renewed friendships)
7. My beautiful sister and her rock (Oh yeah, she's engaged!!)

Until then,
Kali Jean

I'm backkkkk

Hello again!
I am finally back from NYC..Well actually, I've been back. I've just been lazy and haven't posted a new bloggy.

Anyway. New York was amazing, as I expected it would be. I got to meet Corbin Bleu. For those of you who don't know who that is..google him ha. He is a beautiful person.
We did a lot in the big apple so I won't bore you with my agenda of the days. But the main reason we went was to sing in Carnegie Hall, which I mentioned in the last blog. It was absolutely AMAZING. Words literally cannot describe being in the hall. The best part though, was that I got the solo I wanted.
Let me break this down for you.
There was one solo out of the 7 songs we had. And it was a soprano solo..very high notes. One soprano was going to get the opportunity to SING A SOLO IN CARNEGIE HALL. And they picked me.

I almost pee'd my pants.
It was truly an experience I will be greatful for for the rest of my life. I mean, I stood where famous people stood. Kind of mind blowing.

The whole trip itself was so inspiring. It really made me want to be in New York some day. Not just live there, but be on Broadway. I know it sounds like a crazy idea. But what's living if you don't dream? And what's a dream without action? Just a dream. So, I've decided to go for it. Even if it never works out, at least I can say I tried.
I have a feeling this may take a while..

KJ

Time square, shopping, and greasy food.

Hello again.
8:30 pm tomorrow I will be leaving for New York city. Exciting? I'm peeing my pants as we speak. I've been there before but I was also 12 and didn't fully appreciate what the city has to offer. Now that I'm older and wiser (or so I'd like to think) I am ready to take on Manhattan!..well. Sort of.
Our choir is going to New York to sing at Carnegie Hall. Yes, I said Carnegie Hall. The real deal, people. Anyway, we leave tomorrow night, fly out from Kansas city at 5:30 am on Thursday, then go to a musical once we get to the big city. And then on that Sunday, I (and 100+ others) get to step onto
THE CARNEGIE HALL STAGE
and get to sing.
I have ALWAYS wanted to sing in a big hall or church or something of great value. I want to feel like I have accomplished something huge, and I get to do that by singing in Carnegie.
I know it may sound a little cliche, but this is a once in a lifetime thing for most people. But for me, I want to make it happen again. When I walk onto that stage, I will be thinking about all of the famous musicians who have played/sung on the stage. And someday, I want to be one of the famous people that somebody thinks about as they walk onto the stage for the first time.
Maybe it's a petty dream. Sounds a little cloud-headed doesn't it?
Who knows. But someday, I want to see my name in lights. Not for the glitz and glamor though. I'm not in this for the fame. I want to touch people with my music and with my story. I want to share a bit of me with people. Who cares if I never get my name in lights or whatever. What REALLY matters, is if I can touch a life.
I know it sounds cheesy but it is truly how I feel.

I'm getting ahead of myself, as usual! Anywho, I'll be sure to post some pictures of my trip once I get them. And I will definitely have to write about my trip once I get home on the 16th!
Flying isn't my favorite thing so send some prayers my way at around 5:30 Thursday morning!
Time to kick the journey into gear,
KJ

Mr. Quaker and I.

Good morning all.

Today hasn't been much of a day yet. I woke up and sat around.. no surprise there. But after I got off my lazy butt, I made some breakfast.

Oatmeal <3

I was reading the back of the oatmeal box and it said with every serving of oatmeal I get, It also helps my heart..so obviously that put me in a good mood.
It wasn't until after I sat down that I realized my heart was nowhere near being in this feast.
Without even realizing it, I had put in what felt like half the bag of brown sugar. Now don't get me wrong I'm not this obese-gotta-have-sugar-everyday types of people. I have just always LOVED brown sugar in my oatmeal. But something in me this morning kind of snapped.
I need a better diet. I don't eat enough of the healthy stuff. I'm not extremely unhealthy or unfit, but I could be doing better. I should be running more. I should be eating healthier and eating vegetables.
I think this summer needs to be a changing one. After all, I have to avoid the freshman 15 next year (which I'm not too worried about. My metabolism is pretty high up there. But you can never be too sure).

So it's been decided. This summer I'm going to eat healthier and be healthier....Right after I get back from New York.
Give a girl a break. You can't expect to be in New York and not eat everything you see.
Starting June 16th, this girl is turning over to the dark side.
Where would I be without Mr. Quaker?

KJ.

I'm new at this..

Hello to whoever you are. I'm Kali, I'm 18, and I have no idea what I'm doing..or even why I'm doing this. My sister started one of these blogs and I thought it was silly to be honest. In my mind, why would anyone want to sit here and write to possibly nobody? And then I realized I do that in my journal.. SO. Since I spend most of my time on this computer, I figured I'd join the fun.
Like I said. I don't really know how to do this but I'm willing to try.
I might as well share a little about myself.
I live in Nebraska and I just graduated from high school about month ago so I'm pretty excited about heading off to college, which is UNL. I'm going for Vocal Performance. I know it sounds silly for those of you who believe that 1 in a trillion ever get anywhere with music and performing..but I'm too stubborn to give in. Not only that, I love music too much to let it go. It's been a part of my life since I was born. (cliche but it's true, my mom was a music teacher my whole life up until I was 13).
Anywho. I have one sister, Jordan. I love her. We fight all the time but she's my best friend. I'm actually living with her next year rather than on campus. (I know, risky move). We'll see if I make it out alive.
I have a beautiful dog named Chloe. She's an Australian Shepherd and a Border Collie mix. She's a brute but she listens to my problems so I like having her around..and yes, I'm one of THOSE people who talks to their dogs about their problems. It's a good method.

There's a lot more about me I can share, but I think I'll save that for another day.
It was nice meeting you, whoever you are.
Stick around...I've got quite the journey ahead of me.